Why I'm A Bad Mom And Other Fine Things...
Ok, I'm not a bad Mom...maybe.
When we were in Disneyland last week, I realized something.
I would NEVER....and I mean N.E.V.E.R. take small children to Disneyland.
Picture this scenario (which isn't made up, in fact I saw this many, many times)
You arrive at Disneyland (which is only actually arriving at the parking lots of the great land of Disney), where you unload your stroller, snuggly and screaming 2 year old and 6 month old.
You put the baby in the snuggly and then try and corral the 2 year old into the stroller while yelling at your husband to not forget the baby wipes....
You get to the escalator only to realize that you can't take the stroller on there, so you get to wait in the first of many line ups of the day. The Elevator! YAY!
10 minutes later you get down to the tram level where you take said screaming 2 year old OUT of the stroller (b/c you can't have a stroller on the tram, you have to fold it up) while you are still visibly annoyed with your husband for not packing more wipes. You hold onto your 2 year olds hand while shouting things like 'WE'RE GOING TO SEE MICKEY!!!!!!!! DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE MICKEY?' at the tot...to which he screams 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NO MICKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' You wait in line for the tram and when it comes, you load up everything and try to keep the stroller from falling OUT of the tram during the 3 minute ride.
Then you arrive. Phew.
Take stroller out, set stroller up, pick up squirming child, try to place him in...of course, he won't bend his legs, so that makes things fun. Shove his legs through the leg hole, scraping his knees on the drink holder. Re-commence screaming. Try and calm your two year old down while giving your husband the evil eye while he's trying to locate the band aids in the diaper bag.
Patch knee up, start walking toward gate.
Stop at gate, get searched (all the while still re-iterating 'MICKEY IS IN THERE CONNER...ISN'T THIS FUUUUUNNNNNNN???????). Go through gate, get map and then sit down to nurse 6 month old who is now crying.
All done nursing...'Ok Conner...which ride do you want to go on?' (the choice is limited because Conner is only like 35 inches tall so he can't ride the 'cool' rides but have fun on 'Mr. Toad's Wild Adventure')
'NEMO!!!!!!!!!' 'NEMO NEMO NEMO NEMO NEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Start walking towards the Nemo submarine ride....then get there and notice the '55 minute' wait time. Try talking 'Conner' out of having to go on the submarine ride....it's a no go...he wants to wait. By wait, I mean, hanging on the rope dividers and climb up the rock wall that divides the people waiting in the 'Nemo' ride. You finally get to the end of the line, and it's time to get in the submarine, and this is when Conner announces that he needs to poo. You calmly tell him to hold it while you yank him down into the submarine.
5 minutes later you're done the ride, and it's really time to RUN to the washroom with Conner. You 'un'snuggly yourself, hand the baby over to your husband (whom you are barely speaking with) and run Conner to the nearest bathroom where there is only a 10 person line.
Done in the bathroom, back to 're'snuggly the baby.
It's now 10 am. You've been here for an hour. You are so tired you could throw up and now it's time to wait for 'Snow White's Great Adventure'. Wait time? 45 minutes. Awesome. Just forget it...let's go to 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. The waits are shorter and the line moves fast.
Get to the 'Pirates' ride...wait in line. Get on ride. Spend the ENTIRE ride re-assuring Conner that a big mean pirate won't 'get' him. 'No, NO Conner...Jack Sparrow is a nice pirate. He only uses his sword to cut things like fruit....' Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirates life for me.....
**************cut to me**********************************************
WHY on God's green earth would parents do this to themselves? The kids are tired...the parents are tired and seriously? They won't remember it anyway! The only thing you come away with is some serious post traumatic stress...I mean, I was stressed for them!
Going to Disneyland with kids who can walk by themselves, ride the rides by themselves and last but not least, actually REMEMBER it really is the way to go (in my humble opinion). But hey, what do I know?
When we were in Disneyland last week, I realized something.
I would NEVER....and I mean N.E.V.E.R. take small children to Disneyland.
Picture this scenario (which isn't made up, in fact I saw this many, many times)
You arrive at Disneyland (which is only actually arriving at the parking lots of the great land of Disney), where you unload your stroller, snuggly and screaming 2 year old and 6 month old.
You put the baby in the snuggly and then try and corral the 2 year old into the stroller while yelling at your husband to not forget the baby wipes....
You get to the escalator only to realize that you can't take the stroller on there, so you get to wait in the first of many line ups of the day. The Elevator! YAY!
10 minutes later you get down to the tram level where you take said screaming 2 year old OUT of the stroller (b/c you can't have a stroller on the tram, you have to fold it up) while you are still visibly annoyed with your husband for not packing more wipes. You hold onto your 2 year olds hand while shouting things like 'WE'RE GOING TO SEE MICKEY!!!!!!!! DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE MICKEY?' at the tot...to which he screams 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NO MICKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' You wait in line for the tram and when it comes, you load up everything and try to keep the stroller from falling OUT of the tram during the 3 minute ride.
Then you arrive. Phew.
Take stroller out, set stroller up, pick up squirming child, try to place him in...of course, he won't bend his legs, so that makes things fun. Shove his legs through the leg hole, scraping his knees on the drink holder. Re-commence screaming. Try and calm your two year old down while giving your husband the evil eye while he's trying to locate the band aids in the diaper bag.
Patch knee up, start walking toward gate.
Stop at gate, get searched (all the while still re-iterating 'MICKEY IS IN THERE CONNER...ISN'T THIS FUUUUUNNNNNNN???????). Go through gate, get map and then sit down to nurse 6 month old who is now crying.
All done nursing...'Ok Conner...which ride do you want to go on?' (the choice is limited because Conner is only like 35 inches tall so he can't ride the 'cool' rides but have fun on 'Mr. Toad's Wild Adventure')
'NEMO!!!!!!!!!' 'NEMO NEMO NEMO NEMO NEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Start walking towards the Nemo submarine ride....then get there and notice the '55 minute' wait time. Try talking 'Conner' out of having to go on the submarine ride....it's a no go...he wants to wait. By wait, I mean, hanging on the rope dividers and climb up the rock wall that divides the people waiting in the 'Nemo' ride. You finally get to the end of the line, and it's time to get in the submarine, and this is when Conner announces that he needs to poo. You calmly tell him to hold it while you yank him down into the submarine.
5 minutes later you're done the ride, and it's really time to RUN to the washroom with Conner. You 'un'snuggly yourself, hand the baby over to your husband (whom you are barely speaking with) and run Conner to the nearest bathroom where there is only a 10 person line.
Done in the bathroom, back to 're'snuggly the baby.
It's now 10 am. You've been here for an hour. You are so tired you could throw up and now it's time to wait for 'Snow White's Great Adventure'. Wait time? 45 minutes. Awesome. Just forget it...let's go to 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. The waits are shorter and the line moves fast.
Get to the 'Pirates' ride...wait in line. Get on ride. Spend the ENTIRE ride re-assuring Conner that a big mean pirate won't 'get' him. 'No, NO Conner...Jack Sparrow is a nice pirate. He only uses his sword to cut things like fruit....' Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirates life for me.....
**************cut to me**********************************************
WHY on God's green earth would parents do this to themselves? The kids are tired...the parents are tired and seriously? They won't remember it anyway! The only thing you come away with is some serious post traumatic stress...I mean, I was stressed for them!
Going to Disneyland with kids who can walk by themselves, ride the rides by themselves and last but not least, actually REMEMBER it really is the way to go (in my humble opinion). But hey, what do I know?
posted by elliott5inbc at 2:50 p.m.
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