My Trip to ONEderland....
Sorry.
It's been a while...
I can always hear Billie's voice in my head telling me she loves me but I suck at blogging.
Well? Here I am. In what the Biggest Loser calls 'Onederland'.
After 20 years I broke through the 100 barrier and now see a 1 in front of what I weigh.
Ask me how it feels?
Uh...it feels scary...and unknown...and different than I thought it would. I'm not sure if I thought I would immediately love my body and feel the weight (pardon the pun) of not being 'over 200 pounds' just wash away. I was wrong. I feel the same. Actually I feel scared! Scared of going up over 200, scared of never being DONE....scared of being perpetually unhappy with myself...and scared of letting a number control my happiness. I mean, really, the difference between 200 and 199 is ONE pound...so why does it feel like a hundred pounds?
So, here's what I know for sure (Thank you Oprah). I know that God created me perfectly. I know that I am ENOUGH. I know that I will continue to make the right choices and hopefully, it will pay off, but while I'm stuck here (which I have been for weeks) I will be thankful for who I am. Really. Not what my body looks like, but what my actual heart and soul say about me. What the Creator of the universe says about me.
And He says, 'It is good'.
It's been a while...
I can always hear Billie's voice in my head telling me she loves me but I suck at blogging.
Well? Here I am. In what the Biggest Loser calls 'Onederland'.
After 20 years I broke through the 100 barrier and now see a 1 in front of what I weigh.
Ask me how it feels?
Uh...it feels scary...and unknown...and different than I thought it would. I'm not sure if I thought I would immediately love my body and feel the weight (pardon the pun) of not being 'over 200 pounds' just wash away. I was wrong. I feel the same. Actually I feel scared! Scared of going up over 200, scared of never being DONE....scared of being perpetually unhappy with myself...and scared of letting a number control my happiness. I mean, really, the difference between 200 and 199 is ONE pound...so why does it feel like a hundred pounds?
So, here's what I know for sure (Thank you Oprah). I know that God created me perfectly. I know that I am ENOUGH. I know that I will continue to make the right choices and hopefully, it will pay off, but while I'm stuck here (which I have been for weeks) I will be thankful for who I am. Really. Not what my body looks like, but what my actual heart and soul say about me. What the Creator of the universe says about me.
And He says, 'It is good'.
posted by elliott5inbc at 1:10 p.m.
4 Comments:
Amen to that!
Well I think my voice is a good voice to hear if you're going to be hearing voices... ;)
And you look great. At less than 200 or more than 200 or anywhere in between.
Your heart shines through, friend.
I like what Billie said! :D I agree! No matter what the number, you are beautiful!
Love you! Love you! Love you!
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