All The Things I Know....Or Don't

Ok, here's what I've noticed.

I have all kinds of female friends on Facebook (and yes, even some who aren't on FB), some are young..some are old.  Some are married, some have kids...some graduated with me 19 (GULP) years ago, some met me at youth group...some I teach or have taught their kids...and there is a theme with ALMOST all of them (I say almost so you who do not have this issue won't message me).  When it comes to how they look, they are not happy.  I don't even think they are all UNhappy...some are, and you can tell by the pictures (or lack thereof) they post (guilty as charged), but they aren't ok with how they look.

This isn't some new revelation to you, I realize...but here is the strange thing.  It doesn't seem to matter if they are thin, chubby, large and in charge, blonde, curly, short, tall...and on and on.  They aren't, ok, let's change that...WE aren't happy.  We aren't enough.

We are striving for something...perfection?  We say nothing is as good as skinny feels.... but is that true?  Have you had butter chicken and Naan bread or Heather's homemade scones?  Does skinny feel SO amazing?  I ask you skinny friends who don't look as big as me, but seem to FEEL as big as I am....is all this stress worth it?

I'm all for being healthy, which is why I overhauled my rather large A@@ and got it movin'....but it's not really what its all about is it?  Its about the daily comparison that we do.... It's about the NEVER EVER feeling like you've actually made it.  It's about having something special to go to in June and wondering how you will lose 20 pounds before then, because maybe, just maybe all will be well in your world. It's about correct chin angles, chest and up shots and putting your children infront of you so you can essentially be in the picture but HIDE at the same time (again, guilty as charged).

Friend...sister....woman.....aren't we done with all this?  Don't we know better?  Isn't is true that we are not defined by what we look like?  I guess not, or what would all the fuss be about?

Are You There Friends? It's Me...Michelle

Are you there friends?

Is blogging becoming a thing of the past?  I don't think so...I hear of lots of quirky and amazing people blogging all the time...I'm just not sure I should be one of them.

I could do a Hawaii by the numbers blog, since we got back a month ago from spending 17 glorious days in the best place on earth...but I digress.  I mean, Hawaii was awesome.  Coming home to snow?  Not so awesome.  What do I really want to let people know?  What is at the heart of ME?

I'm not sure.  I'll keep you posted.  I promise

My Trip to ONEderland....

Sorry.

It's been a while...

I can always hear Billie's voice in my head telling me she loves me but I suck at blogging.

Well? Here I am. In what the Biggest Loser calls 'Onederland'.

After 20 years I broke through the 100 barrier and now see a 1 in front of what I weigh.

Ask me how it feels?

Uh...it feels scary...and unknown...and different than I thought it would. I'm not sure if I thought I would immediately love my body and feel the weight (pardon the pun) of not being 'over 200 pounds' just wash away. I was wrong. I feel the same. Actually I feel scared! Scared of going up over 200, scared of never being DONE....scared of being perpetually unhappy with myself...and scared of letting a number control my happiness. I mean, really, the difference between 200 and 199 is ONE pound...so why does it feel like a hundred pounds?

So, here's what I know for sure (Thank you Oprah). I know that God created me perfectly. I know that I am ENOUGH. I know that I will continue to make the right choices and hopefully, it will pay off, but while I'm stuck here (which I have been for weeks) I will be thankful for who I am. Really. Not what my body looks like, but what my actual heart and soul say about me. What the Creator of the universe says about me.

And He says, 'It is good'.

Just A Small Town Girl

Mostly I love living in a small town.

But here is a little story I call....'TOO SMALL TOWN'

I was in a certain drug store yesterday. The cosmetic lady ringing in my purchase used the F word. While I was at the till. Buying something expensive.

I don't know her. She just used it like we were at the bar. Which we weren't.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude, but is it super professional while ringing in someones purchase to utter this sentence 'Oh man, if that f*&%$(ng purfume didn't come in today I was going to have to stay home'.

Uh.....ok then.

Also, then today, at said drug mart (if you will) the pharmacist was waiting in line behind me, purchasing a monster energy drink when I heard him tell his buddy , 'Holy crap, I'm so hungover, man I wish I was still in bed'.

Please don't get a prescription today if you live in Smithers. It may not be safe.

Dear Mart....I get it, we have limited choices so I won't even call to complain about the severe lack of professionalism. Again, I'm no prude. Get drunk, it's not my problem but then maybe don't announce to people that could be sick and relying on you dispensing the correct pills to them, that you were SOOOOOOOOOOO wasted last night.

That's just me, and what do I know? I'm from Manitoba.

No News Is Good News

Ok.

I'm sorry Billie. I know I've been lacking in the blogging department but what is life is just life and I don't have anything interesting to write about?

What if no one really cares what I've been up to?

What if I'm happy things have been 'mundane' so I can enjoy life?

What if I'm loving having three girls who are amazing and wonderful and who I really really enjoy?

What if I'm doing the 100 day count down to Hawaii?

What if I'm not so afraid of 'winter' sports anymore, ie skating? What if I kind of rock ice skating now?

What if I'm all done my Christmas shopping so I have nothing to report there?

What if I tried spinning class and I don't love it but keep doing it because I love butter tarts?

What if I fell down the stairs this week at church infront of all the ladies I know?

What if I don't have anything good to say so that's why I don't blog?

Just Sayin'

Old Man Winter

I am originally from Manitoba. Yup...lemme hear it....'Winterpeg'....ahahahaha.....

I have lived in BC half of my life, but it's still not long enough to forget the BONE chilling, windy, Winnipeg winters.

I would even now consider myself a British Columbian.....but, there is one thing I can NOT stand for.....and that is whining about a BC winter.

I have a new friend, Janelle. She is from Ontario (don't judge her....she's lovely, and we can't hold the entire province's snobbery against her) and she has lived here in 'northern' BC (seriously, it's CENTRAL PEOPLE....LOOK AT A MAP!) for about 6 weeks. In those 6 weeks, all she had heard is how she is going to perish in the cold and awfulness of this winter....that she will not survive....that death would be welcome about January 5th.....

I. DO. NOT. GET. IT.

These winter complainers are obviously not from anywhere other than BC. Only in BC do people compare winter conditions with Vancouver. THE WARMEST MAJOR CITY IN CANADA IN THE WINTER.

We spend 95 % of winter days outside here! We snowmobile, we toboggan, we ski, we skate...and all in a relatively moderate winter climate! There is little or no wind here. It's about -10 all winter (with the exception of the two cold weeks that are in the -20's) and yes, the snow is here for about 3 or 4 months, but really people? Really? You want to compare yourselves to a city that collectively cries when it snows 5 cms? This is the true north strong and free for goodness sake! Man up!

Prairie people are hearty people. It's hotter than hades all summer and colder than....well, what's the opposite of hades?

Uh...that would be Winnpeg.

That Moment....

My BFF Heather recently posted a blog http://www.inallcyriousness.blogspot.com/ about her kids going off to the first full day of school. I re-read it a couple of times and thought back to that moment. The moment I brought my baby to kindergarten, then to full days of Grade 1.

I remember holding Delaney's hand and looking at ALL the kids around the playground and thinking, 'I can not just drop my child off here! There are so many kids! What if she gets lost? Or hurt? Or......' I also remember thinking that the grade 7's looked HUGE and mean. Also they dressed stupid.

Fast forward...and I mean FAST...to fall of 2011. I walked my baby girl to the school, where she was now the big, mean, stupidly dressed grade 7. She had painstakingly put on mascara (since years ago, she asked me when she could wear make-up to school and I said, 'UH...grade 7' in quite a hurry, thinking that was YEARS away. Well, she didn't forget, and she was very excited to get to wear make up to school) and picked out her clothes. She ruled the school. One. LAST. YEAR...until high school.

My Mommy heart soared and broke all at the same time. My Delaney Frances is a wonderful girl, inside and out, but she is not a little girl anymore. Calvin and I are doing what we are supposed to. We are teaching her that she can do ALL things through Him who strengthens her. We are reminding her to make good choices, even when we aren't around....and yet part of my heart breaks because time must move on....just in time for me to do this all over again next year with my sweet Avery Vanessa.