And Now For Something Completely Different...

So, not to bum out all 6 of my faithful readers...but I thought I would update you on some news we recently received...

I got a call from my Dad yesterday and he has been having hip pain for a few weeks...anyway, turns out he has a kidney stone, went for a MRI and they discovered an abdomen full of cancerous tumours. The doctors are giving him about a year to live....

Yesterday, I think I was in shock...like, is this a movie or something?? Anyway, seems it's not a movie, it's real life, and at the centre is this weird thought that my Dad is going to die. I mean, I always knew he was going to die..I just thought he'd be 80, not 55.

Anyway, that's my life today.

My Dad will be here for my sisters wedding in August....we'll have to make it one heck of a visit!

We're sad...but...I know where my HOPE comes from...and today, that's about all I have to cling to...

14 Years Is Not Too Long

It's been 14 years.

Since I graduated from High School, that is. I thought to myself, hey...I haven't been to school forever, why not START again?

It's true, I am back at school. College to be exact...why you ask? Well, the college here is offering University credit courses now, and they have a certificate program called 'SEA' or 'Special Education Assistant' (which is basically a fancy way of saying 'teacher's aide'). I thought I could maybe start it next September....went to the college and looked into it, only to find out that the first two courses already started in January. Case closed. I thought, well, if it was meant to be, it would be!! RIGHT??? Back to my life...and then...the program co-ordinator called me telling me that they were going to make an exception for me, and I could make up the first two courses later on, so if I wanted to do this program, be at the college Tuesday at 6 p.m. for my first class. HUH??? (Now, keep in mind this was last week) I really didn't know what to do, I talked about it with Heather (because of course, we talk about EVERYTHING) and waited for Calvin to wake up to ask him what he thought. What did he think about his wife going back to school and being emmersed in books for a year? He thought it was a great idea.

I really wanted a job that had hours that would work for me..this is the job.
I really wanted a job that paid well...this is the job.
I really wanted a job with the same holiday's as my kids...this is the job.
I really wanted a job so I could be involved in the school...this is the job.

THEN WHY THE HECK AM I SO SCARED??

Last Tuesday (my first day) I was sick to my stomach all day....I snapped at the kids, yelled at Calvin and couldn't eat dinner...finally, my husband asked me if I was nervous about my first day.

I burst into tears.....who ME??? Nervous? I am one of the most self confident people I know....and I was SCARED.

Calvin calmed me down and told me 'You'll go back and it will be just like high school...you'll be the popular kid again'....to which I responded...'Then WHY do I feel like I'm going back as the FAT KID???'

DEEP CLEANSING BREATHS.

So, I went to the class and felt like shrinking into the floor...but it was fine. Really good actually...I mean, don't get me wrong, the workload and reading are a tad bit overwhelming for someone who has read mostly 'Barney' and 'I'll Love You Forever' for the last seven years but I'm going to do this thing.

I'm going to TRY to do this thing.

I really HOPE I can do this thing.

Oh man...what was I thinking????