Why I Know Styrofoam Was Invented By A Man....
I hate clutter, and I HATE messes.
Please don't get pissy...I'm not saying I hate YOUR mess or clutter...just my own.
Why then, is it, that Calvin decided to pick up his new TV at Sears at 1:00 p.m., knowing he has to leave for work at 3:00 p.m.??
In his mind, this is how this works.
1:00 p.m. pick up TV and TV stand (that Michelle is not sure she even likes) from Sears.
1:15 p.m. Come home, put it all together, have coffee, go to work.
2:30 p.m. Since I'm all done putting together the tv, maybe go on 'The Hockey News' for half and hour....scratch myself...go to work.
THIS is how it really goes.
1:00 p.m. pick up TV and TV stand (that Michelle is not sure she even likes) from Sears.
1:15 p.m. Come home, get in an argument with Michelle in front of Tanya about how she didn't really want this TV stand and she's not sure she likes it...which ends in Calvin telling Michelle TOO DARN BAD, suck it up and taking it out of the box.
1:16 p.m. Complain about how much you hate it when stuff is packed in SO much Styrofoam.
1;17 p.m. proceed to pull all parts of the tv stand out of the box, pulling one to two pounds of styrofoam out all over the floor.
1:20 p.m. Move furniture to make room for new TV and stand, since old TV and stand are still in the living room.
1:30 p.m. Dump the rest of the styrofoam out to look for instructions on how to put TV stand together.
2:00 p.m. TV stand DONE! Looks good...Michelle decides she does like it....rub it in her face that she's totally wrong and I'm so right.
2:01 p.m. Salmon sandwich break....a man gets hungry when putting crap together!
2:10 p.m. Look at TV box..pull all stuff out, put TV together, wipe TV off..admire said TV.
2:15 Get a call from Jeremy saying he can come right now to move the old TV upstairs and pick up the upstairs TV and take it home.
2:17 p.m. Start moving all the tv's around.
2:35 p.m. TV's moved, start trying to set up TV upstairs.
2:45 p.m. Still trying to get remote to work for satellite upstairs.
2:55 p.m. Run downstairs and realize I should leave for work in 10 minutes. Watch Michelle stomp all around about having crap all over her house and how much she hates styrofoam pieces everywhere. Watch Michelle have a mini-tantrum about WHY on God's green earth I have to start a project two hours before I have to leave for work, knowing FULL well she's going to have to clean up after it.
2:56 p.m. Tell Michelle to 'ZIP IT' while I pull out the vacuum and make a grand gesture about vacuuming before I have to leave for work. Argue about vacuuming with her.
3:03 p.m. Give the vacuum to Michelle after she reminds me that I'm going to be late if I don't get changed and ready, then strongly remind her that it's ME who is going to be late, not her so build a bridge and GET OVER IT.
3:05 p.m. Laugh at Michelle stomping around mentioning the styrofoam pieces I've missed.
3:06 p.m. Get dressed for work.
3:08 p.m. put on boots for work while trying to get Michelle to laugh about what a retard she's being.
3:09 p.m. Give Michelle that look that made her fall in love with me.....
3:10 p.m. Leave for work. Almost on time! See? No problem!
Please don't get pissy...I'm not saying I hate YOUR mess or clutter...just my own.
Why then, is it, that Calvin decided to pick up his new TV at Sears at 1:00 p.m., knowing he has to leave for work at 3:00 p.m.??
In his mind, this is how this works.
1:00 p.m. pick up TV and TV stand (that Michelle is not sure she even likes) from Sears.
1:15 p.m. Come home, put it all together, have coffee, go to work.
2:30 p.m. Since I'm all done putting together the tv, maybe go on 'The Hockey News' for half and hour....scratch myself...go to work.
THIS is how it really goes.
1:00 p.m. pick up TV and TV stand (that Michelle is not sure she even likes) from Sears.
1:15 p.m. Come home, get in an argument with Michelle in front of Tanya about how she didn't really want this TV stand and she's not sure she likes it...which ends in Calvin telling Michelle TOO DARN BAD, suck it up and taking it out of the box.
1:16 p.m. Complain about how much you hate it when stuff is packed in SO much Styrofoam.
1;17 p.m. proceed to pull all parts of the tv stand out of the box, pulling one to two pounds of styrofoam out all over the floor.
1:20 p.m. Move furniture to make room for new TV and stand, since old TV and stand are still in the living room.
1:30 p.m. Dump the rest of the styrofoam out to look for instructions on how to put TV stand together.
2:00 p.m. TV stand DONE! Looks good...Michelle decides she does like it....rub it in her face that she's totally wrong and I'm so right.
2:01 p.m. Salmon sandwich break....a man gets hungry when putting crap together!
2:10 p.m. Look at TV box..pull all stuff out, put TV together, wipe TV off..admire said TV.
2:15 Get a call from Jeremy saying he can come right now to move the old TV upstairs and pick up the upstairs TV and take it home.
2:17 p.m. Start moving all the tv's around.
2:35 p.m. TV's moved, start trying to set up TV upstairs.
2:45 p.m. Still trying to get remote to work for satellite upstairs.
2:55 p.m. Run downstairs and realize I should leave for work in 10 minutes. Watch Michelle stomp all around about having crap all over her house and how much she hates styrofoam pieces everywhere. Watch Michelle have a mini-tantrum about WHY on God's green earth I have to start a project two hours before I have to leave for work, knowing FULL well she's going to have to clean up after it.
2:56 p.m. Tell Michelle to 'ZIP IT' while I pull out the vacuum and make a grand gesture about vacuuming before I have to leave for work. Argue about vacuuming with her.
3:03 p.m. Give the vacuum to Michelle after she reminds me that I'm going to be late if I don't get changed and ready, then strongly remind her that it's ME who is going to be late, not her so build a bridge and GET OVER IT.
3:05 p.m. Laugh at Michelle stomping around mentioning the styrofoam pieces I've missed.
3:06 p.m. Get dressed for work.
3:08 p.m. put on boots for work while trying to get Michelle to laugh about what a retard she's being.
3:09 p.m. Give Michelle that look that made her fall in love with me.....
3:10 p.m. Leave for work. Almost on time! See? No problem!
posted by elliott5inbc at 3:44 p.m.
11 Comments:
lol- excellent. That's pretty much it, isn't it?!
LOL! I LOVE this Michelle! (and you too of course!)
sounds all too familiar..sigh.
and i hope it ended up with give michelle a kiss before leaving for work so that she will miss me and have supper ready for when i get home..
HA HA Chelsey! Well it did end just fine...of course...how could I resist that face????
I am with you!!! Remember all the styrofoam popcorn pieces from the coffee table last year? I think that has permanently scarred me.
Cool to see you too!
So, so funny. I can only imagine!
No offense Michelle but get it together and update. ;)
What happened to posting twice a month... it's been a month and ZERO. Slacker.
;)
What a beautiful drama! It made me feel... So normal! Thank you! Apparently this scene takes place in every house hold in some form or another...
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